Positive Behaviour Support part 6
The Importance of Self Control
The most common misconception is that as a staff member you have or can take control over the student. In this case, if you lose control over a student, you would normally try to gain it again, for example by grabbing the student or forcing contact.
Nobody really can have control over another human being. A student must be in full control of him or herself in order to lend even part of their control to someone else.
Common strategies to regain control of oneself include:
Refusing or saying no in a demanding situation if you have difficulties foreseeing the consequences of saying yes.
Taking a few steps away from other people; when under stress our need for personal space increase.
Creating a distance to the other people by hitting out, throwing things or screaming to keep them away.
Shutting off mentally in order to be less affected by those around you.
Biting your hand or arm so you can focus on pain and ignore other impressions.
Using threats or taunts to be acknowledged.
All these behaviours are positive, forward-looking strategies to regain or keep self-control. In many contexts, they are however considered challenging behaviour because the staff feel they lose control for a short while. If staff react forcefully or confronting in these situations, dangerous, violent situations that the student often are blamed for.
No Fighting, No Biting, No Screaming: How to Make Behaving Positively Possible for People with Autism and Other Developmental Disabilities, Bo Elvin
Think about a time, intentionally or unintentionally, you have tried to take a students control and the outcome has been challenging. Looking back and think of ways you could have made the student feel in control.